Why Family Therapy Is Needed More Than Ever In Modern Society
Family therapy, and the related disciplines of relationship and marriage counseling, have become increasingly sought in the past half century. The family unit has been the backbone of Western society ever since it began, and it has worked as well as anything could have done for literally millions of people who have grown up within it. The system will not work for everyone, of course, and society does need to address the needs of those for whom family life does not work, or for whom it is an impossibility. For the majority, though, there is an overwhelming need to make the family unit as efficient and workable a system as possible.
The family will continue to be the most fundamental unit in society for a long time to come, so it is critically important to address the issue of why it often does not work. There is no doubt that there have been many dysfunctional families in the past, and that many who were trapped within were unable to escape. People have endured violent abuse for many years because society was not set up to hear their story and offer them an alternative place to be. This is something which is at last being addressed by many with a more progressive attitude.
Part of the reason for disruption to family life is that marriages are breaking down far more often. Although it was common in the past for married people to stay together even though both parties would have wanted to dissolve the partnership and move on if they had had the opportunity to do so, even this arrangement could work in keeping the family together as a whole. Often, there were other members of the extended family living in the same property. Families also tended to be of a bigger size, meaning that you were more likely to find someone in the unit you could relate to.
Families are now of typically a much smaller size, and it is rare for the extended family to live together. This means that any extended periods of aggravation are likely to affect everyone far more deeply. The numbers of mothers who stay at home to look after the family has also decreased dramatically, due to the need to bring in extra money to keep the family budget in credit. There is also increased pressure put on children to succeed at school, which can result in more difficult behavior at home.
There is also a tendency for marriage therapy to backfire by putting too much emphasis on the needs of the children. While every responsible parent wants to do the best they can for their children, it needs to be understood that a marriage staying together for the sake of the children will only work if that marriage was worth saving anyway. There will simply be too much resentment from any family member who believes that they have made a sacrifice for the benefit of the others. A marriage needs to be seen as an entity of its own, and marriage therapy planned independently of anything which considers the children.
When family therapy is needed, it should be because the children are directly affected by the situation which exists. It does not mean that a family session cannot be part of therapy for a family, but only if the need is there. The situation is complicated in a family because there will always be family members who are stuck in the situation and cannot get out, no matter how much they would want to. The only way to attempt to deal with this difficulty is for a trained therapist to communicate directly with the frightened and unhappy person, and to discover what is making the feel the way they do.
It is always best for a family therapy worker to speak at length with each individual member of the family before any group sessions start. Within dysfunctional families, there are always power struggles, and those members of the family who feel intimidated will either say noting or just say what the rest of the family wants to hear in a group situation. A therapist needs to understand exactly what is happening inside each person's mind before they attempt to handle a group.
If you are stuck in the middle of a family which is having problems, you may not be able to see or understand exactly what is happening. There will doubtless be things which are being felt but not communicated by every member of the family. Your best course of action is to carry out your own research into the different types of family therapy, and then just show the information to other family members and let them make their own choice. If a therapy is to be successful, it needs to happen with the explicit will of everyone who will attend he meetings, and everyone has to believe in that specific type of family therapy.
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